Pranks and Pringle
by NinjaDevil2000
Summary: James and Sirius are put in detention by the current caretaker, Apollyon Pringle. Rated T for a bit of language.


**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter. My work isn't near as perfect or amazing as JKR's. She is, and forever will be, the best writer this world has ever seen.**

**Author's Note: Beware, part of this was written at one in the morning. James and Sirius are fifteen in this story. I really enjoyed writing this and hope you all enjoy as well. It would really mean a lot if you would review! They really help and it's nice to know that someone enjoys the story. Enjoy!**

**Thank you so much to my beta reader, Sophie! She's amazing! Go check all her stories out at 3cheersforidiots! She's really really great and a super awesome person. Thank you Sophie! Love ya!**

**Written for the IWSC Round 9 - Astronomy**

**Also written for ScribblestheVixen who requested a James/Sirius friendship fic and also gave me the idea for detention as the plot. Thank you Scribbs and I hope you enjoy! :)**

**School and Year: Mahoutokoro, Year 2**

**Theme: Orion - The warrior/hunter constellation. I filled this requirement as well as possible with finding the largest doxy. I know I could've done better, but I ran out of time and ideas. **

**Main Prompt: Romantic Pairing - Sirius Black/Marlene McKinnon**

**Additional Prompt: Dialogue - "If I had a star for every time you brightened my day, I'd be holding a galaxy.**

**Word count: 3187**

_xxxxxxxxxx_

"This is going to be bloody brilliant, mate," Sirius said as he walked next to James in the corridor.

"I know," James agreed. "Alright, that's the last one," he muttered, placing a dungbomb behind a suit of armor. The pair of troublemakers were placing many small dungbombs around the castle that would all go off simultaneously, once James uttered a special incantation.

"Alright, you ready?" James said as the pair swung the Invisibility Cloak around themselves. He glanced at the map in Sirius's hands, making sure that they were roughly in the center of the castle, so that they would be able to hear all of the explosions.

"Hell yeah!" Sirius replied, grinning madly. It was Christmas break at Hogwarts and apart from them and a few other students, only the professors remained. Even Peter and Remus were at home for the holidays. Peter, much to his dejection, had to go home because of the recent passing of his grandmother, but Remus, to his surprise and delight, was able to be with his parents since the full moon would not return until after the new term began.

"Alright, here it goes," James said, taking an excited breath, _"Centurum combustum," _he said, flicking his wand up towards the ceiling.

Then, as quickly as James had flicked his wand, two dozen minor explosions went off around the castle. They had placed some in the Great Hall, the Entrance Hall, outside the common rooms, the owlery, and the corridors. Straining their ears as they walked down the corridor facing the Great Hall, they could hear the irritated mutterings and incredulous laughs of their peers and professors, but above all, one voice prickled their ears.

"POTTER! BLACK!" A furious amplified shout echoed through the halls of the school.

"Oh, shite," James groaned. "I swear on Merlin's armpit hair, that guy has it out for us!"

Sirius chuckled. "Don't worry, mate. What's he gonna do? He can't find us. We're under the cloak."

Suddenly, the voice rang out again. "I will take as many points as necessary away from Gryffindor until you show yourselves!"

Sirius and James exchanged nervous looks. The man shouting throughout the school was the current caretaker, Apollyon Pringle, who was a maniacal and cranky old codger. It seemed he had it out for nearly every single student in the school, particularly Gryffindors for no apparent reason, and was known for bullying new professors when they arrived.

James and Sirius remembered hearing about their fellow Gryffindor, Arthur Weasley, nearly getting skinned alive one night by the old bat for being out late with Molly Prewett. The voice, meanwhile, continued to penetrate their ears.

"FIFTY POINTS FROM GRYFFINDOR! A HUNDRED! A HUNDRED AND FIFTY! TWO HUNDRED!" James and Sirius grimaced. What were they to do now? Let the old hermit take every single point away from Gryffindor? Or save their house's pride and deal with whatever detention Pringle had in store for them? The pair of miscreants exchanged a grim nod, and James pulled the cloak off and stuffed it in his pocket as they began to walk towards the furious voice.

"Alright, alright," Sirius said as they rounded a corner, now face-to-face with the fuming caretaker. "Keep your drawers on. What did you want?" he finished innocently.

A moment later, both James and Sirius were being hurried down the halls towards the headmaster's study. They knew the route well, having been called there too many times to count, but they continually pretended that they didn't, annoying Pringle to no end.

After they had faked memory loss for the ninth time, Pringle had apparently had enough, and he proceeded to erupt, his face red and blotchy, looking quite similar to a volcano.

"WOULD YOU TWO STOP IT?" he spat.

"What?" both James and Sirius replied childishly, or as childishly as possible with sly smiles trying to peek through their masks of innocence.

Pringle grumbled inaudibly as he withdrew his wand and waved it, conjuring ropes from the tip, binding James and Sirius together. Suddenly unbalanced, they would have instantly fallen to the ground had the red-faced git not waved his wand again, levitating them a few inches off the ground.

"What in Merlin's name are you doing?" James said incredulously.

"Yeah," Sirius put in as both he and James attempted to reach their pocketed wands. "Are you sure this isn't breaking rules or something?"

"Don't care right now," Pringle said. "You two boys are out of line all the time and you need to be set straight. We're going to see the headmaster, and you will get the most severe punishment I can come up with." Pringle started walking, James and Sirius floating a little ahead of him.

James and Sirius looked at each other, frightened in spite of themselves. They both knew how desperate Pringle was to be able punish a student as he saw fit, but luckily, Professor Dumbledore or another teacher always reprimanded Pringle, deeming his favored ways too cruel.

"What do we do?" Sirius whispered.

"I don't know," James muttered. "Dumbledore wouldn't dare let Pringle get his way though, right?" he finished hesitantly.

"Of course not," Sirius replied, faking positivity, though he felt very wary of what was going to happen.

"Shut up, you two!" Pringle shouted at them. James and Sirius winced. "We're here."

They were indeed approaching the headmaster's study. After Pringle had hissed the password at the stone griffin and approached the door, he knocked. However, instead of the kind, soft voice of Professor Dumbledore, a squeaky, high-pitched voice spoke.

"Come in, sir."

Pringle opened the door. "Where is Dumbledore?" he asked instantly.

"Gone is Professor Dumbledore, sirs," the squeaky voice spoke again. Pringle and James and Sirius looked around for the voice that was certainly not Dumbledore's. Then, they saw a little creature emerging from behind Dumbledore's desk. It was a small house-elf with large eyes and floppy ears.

"Halle is just here cleaning while he is gone," the elf, apparently named Halle, said. "Can Halle take a message for Professor Dumbledore, sir?" she asked. Her pale grayish-blue eyes glanced towards James and Sirius and the two boys saw concern in them, but her eyes quickly flicked back to Pringle's menacing grin before any of them could voice the concern.

"Well, well, well," he said, pondering the situation.

"Wait!" James piped up. "What about Professor McGonagall? She's the deputy Headmistress; shouldn't she be the one to decide our punishment?"

Pringle scowled. It was well known around the entire school that Pringle despised all the professors, but he especially hated Professor McGonagall, saying that she was too lenient, even though she was one of the strictest teachers in the school.

"Come on," Pringle said, ignoring Halle. He kept his wand pointing at them and directed them out of the office.

"What do we do?" Sirius asked again as they floated helplessly along the corridor.

"I don't know," James replied. "I s'pose we could shout for help, but that might only anger the git even more."

"I think it's worth a try," Sirius said wryly. "What's he gonna do? Torture us?" he laughed, trying to break the tension, and was pleased to see a small smile light up James's face.

"HELP!" James shouted, his voice echoing around the castle. Immediately, Pringle stopped and pointed his wand at James.

"How many times have I told you to be quiet?" he growled. _"Silencio!"_

"Hey!" Sirius yelled indignantly; James tried to speak, but he knew it was hopeless, for no sound came out. He couldn't even hear the sound of his own breathing.

_ "Silencio!" _Pringle repeated, silencing Sirius. The two boys exchanged nervous looks. What were they to do now? Dumbledore wasn't there, they couldn't speak, and Pringle would surely do with them whatever he wanted.

_xxxxxxxxxx_

As the day went on, Pringle allowed the two of them to go to dinner, but not until making them promise to return to his office after eating and threatening them with emptying Gryffindor of points should they report it to a teacher.

And so, true to their word, James and Sirius now walked despondently towards Pringle's office, lest they bear the shame of Gryffindor losing the House Cup because of their prank. As they walked, they passed Marlene McKinnon.

"Hi, Sirius!" she said joyfully, giving him a quick peck on the cheek.

"Hi," Sirius mumbled.

"What's wrong with you?" she asked, concerned.

"Detention with Pringle," he replied.

"Well, what's he gonna do? He never gets away with anything too bad."

"Yeah, but Dumbledore's not here to set him straight, is he?"

Marlene looked thoughtful for a moment. "He _is_ gone, isn't he? At least, he wasn't at the feast. I – er – well, good luck, I s'pose." She began to walk away but turned back before they were too far apart. "Listen, I'll stay up for you guys. No, don't worry," she added as Sirius began to protest, "I've got some Herbology and Ancient Runes homework to finish up; that'll take me a while and I won't get bored, okay?"

Sirius smiled. He looked about to protest again, but sighed instead. "That'd be great. Thanks, Mar."

"You bet," she replied. "Be careful, okay? Don't let him make him the punishment worse." And with that, Marlene left, throwing a supportive wave at them as she wandered off.

Sirius sighed again, looking after her. "God, I love that girl."

"Yeah, she's special," James replied. "I sure wish I had Lily 'round my finger like that."

"Oh, don't worry, mate. She'll come 'round eventually."

"Yeah, but when? She's so pretty; someone's sure to snatch her up."

"I wouldn't think that if I were you, James. Lily's pretty smart and strong-willed. I don't think she's one to go and get caught up in love. I mean, you can't just expect her to come to you one day and say, "Oh, James! I love you so much! Will you be mine? Oh, if I had a star for every time you brightened my day, I'd be holding a galaxy!" Sirius snickered as James punched him playfully in the shoulder.

"Yeah, I s'pose you're right," he replied, sobering up again as he remembered what they were supposed to be doing. "Well, shall we go see what torturous hell awaits us?"

_xxxxxxxxxx_

"Hello there, boys," Pringle greeted in mock kindness as they opened the caretaker's office door.

"Hello," the boys replied dully, deciding to heed Marlene's advice and not make the old crab more irritated than he already was.

"Hello, _sir_," Pringle corrected with an evil grin.

"There's no need to call us _sir_," James said, unable to resist.

Pringle scowled and his eyes regained the anger again from a few moments ago. "Follow me," he growled.

Sirius grinned at James, mouthing, "Good one," as they followed Pringle out of his office. They walked down the corridor, before reaching a small broom closet.

"Give me your wands," Pringle said, outstretching his gnarled hands.

"Wait, why?" Sirius asked. "What are you expecting us to do?"

"You'll see," Pringle replied. "Give me your wands." When James and Sirius didn't move, he proceeded to pull out his own, pointing it first at James. "You first."

James's eyes widened. Would Pringle really hex him? James had a feeling he would, so he reluctantly reached into his robe pocket and pulled out his wand. He was half expecting Pringle to snap it in half, but all he did was slide it into his own pocket. Pringle then turned his wand on Sirius.

After sliding Sirius's wand into his pocket, he stood ready at the door.

"Get ready to go in," he said.

"Wait! What are we supposed to do?" James asked. He hated the nervousness that was apparent in his voice.

Pringle thought for a moment, then said, "Find me the biggest one," and he threw open the door, shoved James and Sirius in, and slammed the door behind them.

"Sirius?" James muttered. "I think we're in trouble."

"What is it?" Sirius replied, following James' gaze. "Oh, shite."

Zooming around the closet, drawing closer to them every second, were at least two dozen large doxies. They were larger than the normal doxies James and Sirius had seen before. They still had the thick black hair, curved and shiny wings, and two extra arms and two extra legs of normal doxies, but they were much larger. Instead of being roughly six inches high, these doxies were at least a foot long, and James wondered if they had been mutated in some way.

"Uh oh," both boys groaned.

"What do we do?" Sirius said, looking around the closet, desperately searching for anything that might help defend themselves against the abnormally large doxies and their shiny black teeth which carried a dangerous toxin.

"Do you see anything that could help us?" Sirius asked anxiously.

"No, nothing," James replied.

"I'll bet that bullocks-eating slug took everything out of here that could've helped us!" Sirius yelled angrily, trying to bat a doxy away with his elbow. Instead, it latched onto his arm with its multiple arms and legs and sunk its teeth into his arm.

Sirius had been hoping that it might be the same with doxies as it was with scorpions: that the venom would be less dangerous if the creature was larger. That was obviously not the case here. Sirius howled as the doxy flew away, leaving a tear in his robes and his arm bleeding.

"Sirius!" James yelled. "Are you okay?" He hastened to push up Sirius's sleeve, so as to see the bite mark.

"No," Sirius replied faintly. "James! Duck!" he yelled suddenly. James ducked, and Sirius punched the oncoming doxy right in the face. It hit the ground with a loud thud. James stood up again and looked around. All the remaining doxies hovered in mid-air for a split second, then, angered by the defeat of one of their fellows, they dived.

"What if we transformed?" Sirius gasped when there was a slight break in the onslaught of furry demons.

"We could get caught!" James replied. "We can't risk it, Sirius!"

They spent the next few minutes punching doxies, howling in rage and pain, and swearing. They had been bitten by numerous doxies and both were feeling the effects. Their vision was blurry, their legs and arms ached where the doxies had bitten them, and their blood dripped onto the floor.

Finally, when there was only one humongous doxy left in the room, James and Sirius exchanged looks.

"He's the biggest one," Sirius said. "This is what Pringle wanted, wasn't it?" Sirius sighed shakily. "Shall we?"

James nodded at him as the doxy dived. James, using his supreme Chaser skills, jumped up and caught the doxy around its waist and threw it at Sirius. Sirius had grabbed a large crate lid and, as the doxy flew towards him, he raised the lid and swiped it through the air, hitting the doxy in the face. It crumpled to the ground among all its fellow doxies. James and Sirius immediately slumped onto the dusty floor, the adrenaline wearing off.

"James?" Sirius mumbled feebly, picking up the largest of the beasts.

"Hmm?" James replied as he leaned against one of the walls.

"Aren't doxy bites poisonous?"

"Yeah," James said, a delusional smile playing across his face. "Guess we've been poisoned." They both smiled, then fell back into oblivion.

_xxxxxxxxxx_

James opened his eyes blearily, shutting them again instantly, for his eyes could not handle the blinding sunlight streaming in through a nearby window. After another moment, James tried again, more prepared for the bright light. He realized, noticing the clean white walls opposite him and the crisp white bed he was laying on, that he was in the Hospital Wing.

Thinking back, he vaguely remembered the doxies, finding the largest one, then collapsing on the floor next to Sirius.

Then, thinking of Sirius, James looked around hurriedly for his best friend, letting out a sigh of relief when he saw his form laying in the bed next to his own. Sirius was still obviously asleep, for he was letting out soft dog-like snores. James grinned, wondering if he made any stag-like sounds while he slept.

"Ah, you're awake." James started at the sound of the voice.

"What – what happened?" he asked hoarsely as Madam Pomfrey neared him. He reached over and fumbled for his glasses, but he suddenly felt them being gently placed into his other hand.

He slid them on and blinked, taking in his surroundings.

"What happened?" he asked again.

"You have multiple bites from Caucasian Doxies. They're a special breed which are quite rare and illegal to breed. It seems Mr. Pringle, though, doesn't care much for the law or students' welfare. At any rate, you will be fine. Mr. Black will be perfectly fine as well," she added, noticing James' eyes flicker worriedly over to the slumbering Sirius.

"You both need lots of rest, do you hear me?" Madam Pomfrey continued firmly, though her voice was compassionate. "The antidote for the venom is easing the process, but your immune system is still working very hard, so you will need much rest for the next few days."

And, as if on cue, James felt his eyelids growing heavier, and, after settling into a more comfortable position, he fell back into the black chasm, not noticing Madam Pomfrey's cool, gentle hands removing his glasses and ruffling his hair.

_xxxxxxxxxx_

When James awoke again, he saw a fuzzy figure standing at the foot of the bed. The figure moved so that it was next to him and handed him his glasses.

Blinking, James looked up into the face of Professor McGonagall.

"Hello, James," she said kindly.

"Hello, Minnie," James replied, clearing his throat slightly, but still speaking with his signature cheekiness. He knew he must've only been asleep a few hours, because the sun still shone brightly, but there were a few more shadows.

Apparently, their voices had startled Sirius out of his deep sleep. He let out a wide yawn, rubbed his eyes, and let out a throaty whisper of his best friend's name. "James?"

"I'm here, Sirius. I'm alright," James replied instantly. Sirius sat up in bed and blinked.

"Hey, Minnie," he said.

"Hello, Sirius," Professor McGonagall replied. James thought that that must've been the softest and kindest voice he'd ever heard her use.

"What happened?" Sirius asked.

"Miss McKinnon reported that you weren't back at the common room after detention with Mr. Pringle," Professor McGonagall replied.

"Oh, I always knew she was a beautiful person," Sirius said dreamily, seemingly forgetting that Professor McGonagall was standing right there.

"You will be happy to know that Mr. Pringle has been sacked. He will never do anything to you or any student ever again." Professor McGonagall spoke calmly, but James thought he detected a hint of malice in her voice.

"Aw, man!" Sirius groaned. "But that means that we won't be able to prank him one last time."

"Well," Professor McGonagall said, allowing herself a tight-lipped smile. "He won't be leaving until tomorrow morning."


End file.
